How to get over an ex in order to move on with your life

breaking up

There is nothing searched more than how to get over an ex. It is never an easy thing for someone to do especially if you have invested too much time in the relationship. It can even get harder when you are on the receiving end of the breakup and you didn’t see it coming.

Now, the breakup might be dragging you down. Your ex might still be occupying your mind. However, at some point, you need to let go of him or her.  Sad as breakups are, brooding over an ex isn’t healthy either. And stalking them on social media is worse.

Below are some tips on how to get over your ex and prepare yourself to reenter the dating field again.

1. Cry! Cry! Cry!

man cryingCrying is not just for babies. It is very therapeutic. Its ok to be sad. So make sure you give yourself enough time to cry.

2. Reflect

Think about the relationship and reflect on what might have gone wrong. Apparently, it helps ease ones pain as opposed to ignoring that the break up happened. Acceptance is the way to healing.

3. Hang out with your friends

You probably spent less time with your friends. Go out with them and have fun in order to take your mind off things.

4. Get a hobby

Pick up a hobby that single people can enjoy such as a dance class, a fitness class or even volunteering.

5. Stop hanging out with your mutual friends

At some point in the relationship, you find yourself sharing friends. If you continue hanging out with them, they will always drag you down as they tell you stories about your ex and how they are moving on.

6. How to get over an ex is as easy as getting a makeover

woman applying lipstickYou might not feel like doing it but changing your look can make you see things in a different light. At the same tie, it will get you ready to look attractive for the next guy or girl. Apply that lipstick, dress up and hold your head high.

7. Try online dating

Once you are ready to move on, how about giving online dating a shot. Its a great start to moving on…

5 struggles that interracial couples face

Much as interracial relationships are on the rise, there are a number of interracial couples who still have to go through some unpleasant experiences. All these are because of the biases within the society that some people still carry around. Even the highly esteemed interracial celebrity couples have had their fair share of discrimination and backlash online.

Here are some of the 5 common struggles that mixed race couples still face for being together.

1.Snappy comments about your spouse

There are people who still don’t understand how one can be attracted to someone from a different race. It makes some uncomfortable that you find them making overt or covert racist comments.

One White man’s friend asked his Asian girlfriend whether she understood English. He spoke to her slowly even after telling him that she is American born and raised.

Annoying as some of these comments can be, I guess some people just can’t handle the fact that people can be open to dating interracially.

2. When people assume interracial couples hate their own race

“Did you not find a man your own race to date”? This question is brought up by those who feel you probably hate your own race. This is something that most black people dating interracially have been asked.

Some people cant just believe that interracial relationships can be based on love. They feel there must be an underlying racial hatred to it. They feel you don’t want your children to have your features.

3. When people ask if you are the nanny to your own kids

black woman mixed kidThis happens so much to black and white couples especially if the kids have more white features. One woman walked up to a kid and blatantly asked her where her mommy was. And that time, the African American mom was holding her hand.

There was an instance where a dad had to explain to the police that he was, in fact, the father after someone called to report a kidnapping.

4. When people hit on your spouse because they don’t consider you as a couple.

I have never understood why people still find it hard to accept that interracial couples exist. So even when together at social events, you might find people flirting openly with your significant other… or you. They completely choose to ignore the possibility of you two being an item. Some assume its probably a work thing.

5. When people harass you for being together

Some get spat on. Others get insulted, using words and even physically. It is so sad that we still see accounts of hate crimes against interracial couples all over the internet.

Things that make you look like a desperate single

We’ve all been single for at least once in our life. Thus, we can all sympathise with the emotional daily life that singles have whether you are or not single. But what is sadder is that single people fixate on those emotions and do not allow themselves to enjoy their life and get into the dating pool While feeling sad, unhappy and emotional all the time, that takes out a bad color on single people which also reflects on their confidence as well. Now, the most impact on your confidence is making themselves look desperate.

Let’s have a look at what are the things that make a single person look desperate:

1. You give up on your standards

Lowering your standards can result in attaining someone you are not that into. Settling for someone who is not up to your standards, does not only mean that they won’t live up to your expectations, you will also feel unhappy while being with them and eventually break up. It also means that you have no respect for yourself since your confidence is so low that you are willing to be with someone just so that you won’t be single anymore. That is simply not worth it.

2. Clingy much?

Ok, now that you found someone who is actually up to your standards, be careful not to be too clingy as you will end up scaring them off. That would be the worst case scenario since you’ve worked so much to find them and being too clingy will bring you back to square one. If you’re constantly calling them and texting them and suffocating them, they will look elsewhere for a more relaxed relationship. You need to set some ground rules for yourself and give the other person some space to breathe. In other words, being too clingy will make you look desperate and that does not look good on anyone.

3. You have the need to label your relationship status

Another way to come off as desperate is to constantly ask for relationship updates. This is annoying especially at the beginning of your dates. Let things loose and don’t worry so much about what you are. Doing so will drive your potential partner away. It is better to enjoy every minute of it rather than having to be constantly reassured and making that person feeling suffocated.

4. Another text addict?

Are you a text person? Use them in moderation. Avoid sending texts every minute of the day just to check in what they are doing or what they are up to. Make them want to text you rather than becoming a texting monster and annoying them. Give them some chance to breathe instead and we’re sure they will end up looking for you rather than you texting them all the time.

5. Seem like you’re into the same things

You should avoid looking like a hypocrite just so you grab their interest and attention. Pretending to like everything that they like is the last thing you want to do. Noone likes a liar and believe us when we say this, lies always come out in the end. You would like them lying to you, why would you lie to them? Especially when your lies come out and you look disrespectful and dishonest to them.

It’s not too late to change and move on, here are the ways to avoid:

1. Keep your standards high

You should respect yourself enough to want to find someone who obliges to the standards that you are looking for. Know what you want and don’t stop until you find it. Of course, your standards must be sensible and compromise when you should.

2. Know what you want

As previously mentioned, it is crucial to identify what you are looking for in a person. That way you know exactly what you are looking for in a partner and you will not settle for anything less than that.

3. Be patient

It is something new and exciting for you yet it is better you be patient and not smother your partner. Get comfortable and enjoy the ride.

The realities of being a mixed race person

interracial family

“Mixed up” is a film which highlights the experiences of mixed race people. See the thing is, there has been a great rise in interracial relationships and marriages. So it makes sense that there is a general rise in mixed race individuals. And growing up as a mixed person comes with its own challenges. And the biggest challenge is the issue of identity.

What are you?

The thing is, most interracial individuals are usually bombarded with the question: What are you. It’s like society expects them to explain why they look different. And normally we always expect them to pick a side. What race are they? And for some reason, people have a high fascination for them.

Let’s look at someone born of a white mother and a black father for instance. These individuals usually have to deal with being in the middle. Blacks will say they are not black enough. On the other hand, they are not white enough. So such individuals usually find themselves being discriminated upon for this.

Racism.. and mixed individuals

If it comes to racism, they find themselves feeling this from both sides. Parents of mixed individuals on the other hand usually find themselves having to explain to their children why they don’t look like either parent. Some parents have been called nannies to their own children. Others have been mistaken for kidnappers. And they always find themselves having to explain themselves to people. And these are their own flesh and blood.

With the rise of many mixed families, the numbers of these individuals are rising. So there is need to address this issue of identity. The thing is, our future is becoming more mixed. We find lesser traditional families these days. And when mixed individuals finally get married, their families tend to become even more diverse as they might find themselves consisting of more than one race.

So, let’s all embrace these individuals.

Realities of Interracial Dating in the United Kingdom

white woman black man

Just like in the US, interracial dating in the United Kingdom was mainly black and white in the 1960s. White women who dated interracially then were considered ‘traitors’.

Interracial Dating in The UK

Such realities of interracial dating in the UK were highlighted in the film “A United Kindom” of 2016. This is a real life story of a Botswana president, Sir Seretse Khama who went to Britain for his studies and fell in love with this White woman, Ruth. And their interracial love stirred a diplomatic crisis between the UK and South Africa which neighbors Botswana.

Today, things have changed massively. However, one woman recalls her mixed race daughter coming home upset after a night out. She was with a white man. And the remark that hurt her was: “Why do all you black girls think you can take our men?”

Well, clearly, interracial dating in the UK is so far off from the US. Such comments about what race takes another race are something that we have heard too many a times. It’s not a new thing. And much as things are better, the UK hasn’t come as far as it thinks if people are still making such comments.

Like other areas, this is a country that believes they are living in a place where people are racially tolerant and that they don’t see color. We want to seem open-minded. But clearly, not everyone is.

UK in 70s and 80s

So, yes we have progressed. yes, there is more interracial dating happening in the UK that it was in the 70s and 80s. There are more mixed race families and individuals that are cropping up with every passing year. But does this automatically make us tolerant? People are still driven by attitudes and prejudices.

Today, some people are still fascinated by interracial couples. The glances don’t seem to end. Interracial dating clearly is still a fairly new concept in the United Kingdom.

 

 

5 Facts about Online interracial Dating

couple on computers

In today’s times of digital technology and Smartphone, everyone has access to a smartphone and the facilities that are provided by it. This makes the search for a partner online quite easily. Online interracial dating websites are very helpful to find a good partner for dating, a short term or long term relationship or even marriage. A research says “today 15% of U.S. adults report they have used online dating websites and online dating apps to find a life partner”. If you like any person on the online interracial dating website, you can talk to him/her the same way as you would have been talking in real life online. And later on, your can go on a date with each other. Here are few facts about online interracial dating –

Online Interracial Dating is the best and easy way to meet people

You can easily find a life partner through online interracial dating websites. Joining an online interracial dating website is easy and does not require many details. As soon as you are registered suggestions from people start pouring in and you just need to select a few whom you think can be compatible with you. Once found those compatible individuals you can select one and go out on a date.

Men read less observe more on online interracial dating websites

Research has proven that men spend less time on online dating websites reading what has been written over there. When they check a woman’s online dating profile, they tend to check only her photographs and spend less time reading her dating profile. Sorry, but it is a surprising fact. Chances are that if a woman has good images of her uploaded on her dating profile she is going to receive many prospects to date her. Men and women both need to take good care of the images they upload on the online interracial dating website.

Relationships on Online interracial dating websites are voluntary

People register on online interracial dating websites voluntarily. If you are there are find someone of a different race whom you like anything but are scared to do so because you are of a different race do not worry. People on online interracial dating websites have registered themselves to be found or to find people from other races for dating. Relationships that are built on online interracial dating websites are voluntary with a better understanding between the individuals which have a better chance of surviving all odds.

One-Fifth of Committed Relationships start from online dating

If it is true of online dating, if you are looking for a serious partner online dating website is the best place to find a good life partner. Research says, one- fifth American committed relationships started via online dating. These online dating websites help you find a good partner.

 

Online daters get a good opportunity to meet new and interesting people

If you are very busy in the office and you do not have time to find a partner, online interracial dating is one of the best places to find a partner for yourself. You do not have to go anywhere to find a partner for you. You can register on an online interracial dating website and you can easily find a partner. This gives an opportunity to sail into unexplored waters, meet new people and explore new opportunities with them in terms of relationships.

 

Interracial Dating and the Myth of Marrying Up

wealthy interracial couple

“You did good… you married a white man!”

That’s an actual quote that one of our staff members (a black woman) recently heard from one of her aunts. Apparently, her aunt thought that she had done well, financially or socially, because she’d married outside of her race. We thought that notion was something that simply had to be explored – especially since there’s so much buzz about black women not getting married in today’s society!

 

In this post, we’d like to explore the idea of hypergamy, or “marrying up” as it’s commonly known, and how this myth casts a negative shadow on the interracial dating community. Especially between black women and white men. It’s sad that in 2014 there is still a stigma that black women choose to marry white men in order to climb the social and economic ladder. Rather than focusing on the foundation of love as a means for marriage, people continue to associate stereotypes toward interracial couples. And the black woman/white man combination always takes the brunt of the scrutiny for some reason.

 Interracial Marriage between black women and white men

First, let’s talk about why this notion of financial or social gains as a result of an interracial marriage between black women and white men is absolutely absurd. Although this isn’t necessarily a great statistic to make the argument, black women are currently the least likely of all women to get married. According to the most recent census, 25 percent of the marriages of black men in 2010 were interracial. However, black women do not cross the color chasm nearly as often. If black women were driven by ulterior motives to marry outside of their race then they would be rivaling their black male counterparts in the interracial marriage department. As a matter of fact, among all women who made up the 8.4 percent of total interracial marriages in 2010, they comprised one of the lowest numbers overall.

Some statistics say that 43% of black women between the ages of 30 and 34 have never been married. However, this figure is also similar to the percentage of unmarried women among other races except for white females. They are simply not dating or marrying interracially enough to even be accused of marrying up. We’re definitely not saying that’s a good thing; we’re just stating facts that would seem to debunk the myth.

“marrying up”

Next, what exactly is “marrying up” when black females are enjoying more success today than ever before? The black community has approximately $850 billion to spend and black women control 62% of that pie. Here’s another interesting factoid: the ratio of women to men at black colleges is 7 to 1. It’s hard to make the argument that black women are out looking for interracial dating to increase their financial or social standings in the world when they seem to be doing just fine by themselves.

Today’s black woman is highly educated, doing well financially and she isn’t even dating outside of her race often enough to be perceived as marrying up. So, that shouldn’t even be something of concern when thinking about interracial dating as a viable option. Black females should just ignore this type of talk and do whatever makes sense for them because they are the ones in the driver’s seat of their lives. And no offense to the older generation, like the approving aunt of our friend, but that antiquated kind of thinking is bound to die as black women continue to flourish

Keep your woman happy in an interracial relationship

mixed couple kissing

Keeping your woman happy and content with the interracial relationship you are going through is your responsibility. You may shower her with the choicest and most expensive gifts. However, there are a few traits that act as a turn off for women. When in an interracial relationship you need to steer clear away from exhibiting such behavior and traits that may prove to be fatal for your interracial relationship.

Manners and etiquettes matter a lot in interracial relationships

Manners and etiquettes are the true essences of a man. Gentleman behavior is never outdated. However, gentlemen behavior is an attitude that is hard to develop. Treating your woman with respect and acting in a gentlemen way not only with your girl but also with people whom you come in contact on a daily basis is essential. Make sure you develop your manners and etiquettes with time else you are going to find it hard to date a woman of your choice. Feigning to be a gentleman is not advised as you may be caught off guard by your interracial partner sooner or later.

Constant nagging is a killer in an interracial relationship

Constant nagging in any relationship tends to be a sign of passive aggressiveness. Aggressiveness in any form is a killer for any relationship. You need to keep calm and be in control of your anger, aggressiveness and let your girlfriend have her me time. Constantly asking her about her whereabouts or just checking on her every hour will make her run from you. Care and being updated is one aspect but looks good only when it is in limits. Over caring may be taken as intruding on the privacy of your interracial partner which is not at all advised by dating coaches.

Poor hygiene is a deal breaker in interracial relationships

You need to take care of brushing teeth, having clean clothes to wear, nails trimmed, have a nice fragrance when on a date or even when in public. Women tend to take a much better notice of men who are score high on their personal hygiene traits. A person with a bad breath and shabby dress will not be an idea for a date for any woman whether it is an interracial relationship or even a normal relationship.

Women do not like narcissists

A man who is full of self-praise and self-love is a failure in terms of dating. Men need to ensure that they have the time and orientation to praise their lady before telling her about his qualities and way of life. Berating your interracial girlfriend to ensure that you are able to keep your position above her will not help the interracial relationship anyway. It is good once in a while to show off your qualities but ranting about yourself, your possessions or your family will surely drive her away from you.

Men need to make sure they are able to make their girl feel comfortable in an interracial relationship. She should not feel like she has been trapped in a relationship. Helping her find her true self in a relationship is the best you can do to continue to take the relationship to a logical start.

Questions you can ask on your first interracial date

interracial couple on a date

Finding an interracial date has become quite easy with the rising popularity of interracial dating websites. Registration on these interracial dating websites is quite easy and finding an interracial date for oneself is also a cakewalk one just needs to do things the right way. The nest step in interracial dating is meting your interracial date for real in the real world. Once the ice is broken between you and your interracial partner it is time to talk to each other. What should your conversation revolve around is a big question?

mixed couple at a barTalking about childhood can be a good topic in an interracial date

Since both, the partners in an interracial date come from different backgrounds and have spent their childhoods in different settings and environments. A discussion around the way one has spent childhood would be an interesting topic. However, if your dating partner has had a disturbed or not so great a childhood and is not ready to talk about it on the first date do not coax him or her to the discussion. Talking about the schools, mischief, kinds of friends you have had in your childhood and places you have stayed form a nice conversation especially when meeting for the first time in the real world. Childhood memories are a great point of connection, especially when hitting along with a stranger. Keeping the conversation fun and not delving deep into the serious aspects will be a great conversation with your interracial date.

Future plans and vision can form a nice discussion point on an interracial date

In case you are not able to have a good conversation about your childhood, do not lose hope. Move on to the future aspects of your life or the life of your interracial dating partner. Ask them about their plans for the future and what do they intend to do after 5-10 years from now. A progressive and frank individual will like to discuss his or her vision of the future and will open up to the plans for future and even ask you for your plans and things you have planned. One need not be too realistic about the future and take things wherever your imagination allows you to.

Discussing hobbies and spare time activities is good

Making your interracial date talk about hobbies and the things they love to do in their spare time is a great ground building measure and an interesting topic to be taken up on the first interracial date or even in subsequent dates. Make your interracial date more interesting by talking about the things that the other person likes most. Maybe a hobby or an interest that both of you share can be a common point to take the conversation from zero to an interesting one.

Check out the passions of your interracial date

Your interracial date is passionate about what? This particular question if answered at the right moment will be a great asset of information for you in future. While planning your subsequent dates to outings you can keep this in mind and plan accordingly. This piece of information will not only form a great conversation topic but will also be helpful in nurturing your long-term relationship.

Having a few interesting topics or even a line on which you intend to take the conversation on your interracial date you will be able to make each and every date of yours much more interesting and fruitful for a long-term interracial relationship.